My family lost 1 gem a year over the past decade, including our matriarch. Death is my biggest fear and learning how to navigate through each loss has been the most difficult challenge for me. How do you move on? How do you find a sense of normalcy again? How do you not live in fear?
Still trying to find the best answers. What lies underneath this fear is the refusal to accept change and release control. I’ve always had a hard time with accepting the unknown. “Go with the flow” they say, not if I can help it! LOL. I consider myself to be a pretty tough girl, however, we must always remember that strength is non-existent without proper care. Adulthood can force you to prioritize all things before yourself, ultimately limiting your perception of what true happiness looks like. I had a nasty habit of using my career as an excuse to deal with traumatic experiences.
“Oh this didn’t work out, but at least I’m good here”.
Around this time in 2019, I received the most devastating news about a dear member of my family. Of course at this point, I was used to dealing with and processing death, but it was this loss that birthed a transformative period in my life. I was no longer able to hide my grief with work because my emotions started to show up there! How could I be surprised when I've never taken a vacation since graduating from college? I can’t begin to share how many times I found out about the passing of a loved one and drowned myself in work as a result. The bookings stay, the assignment stays, the duty still remains. Justifying this coping mechanism with a strong determination to succeed, not realizing that I had been doing myself a huge disservice for 8+ years. The entertainment/ media industry has a way of making you feel as if there is no room for humility because opportunities are the most important. Well, I’m here to tell you to TAKE THE BREAK. You are of no use to any company, partner, business venture if you continue to pour from an empty cup. Yes , being a go - getter is essential, but it’s all about balance. Once I started prioritizing self-care, everything shifted for the better, including my career. It's not all perfect now, come on, nothing is. Just the other day, my Director reminded me that there was nothing wrong with simply taking a day off.
Today is Thanksgiving. It’s ok to put the phone down and limit correspondence. If you must, answer AFTER dinner Mavens.
Prayers are with all those who may be grieving during the holidays.
Comments